Certainly, I do like to challenge myself, but, if I'm going to be honest with myself and with all of you, I prefer being in the top 3 with a 2 or higher kd, and a bunch of objective points.
So, I find myself trying to challenge myself with different guns that A) simply don't work for me and my connection, B) underperform against the laserbeam Famas C) are outclassed by the RF 74u combo.
So, I convince myself that I'm on some moral gaming high road by not using certain weapons and certain perks...and until I watched this video, I didn't realize why I was putting myself through this misery:
I have been basically trying to get my weapon kills balanced out so I look like a balanced and dynamic player--not some 30 000 kill Famas user. But in doing so, have become a sub par player. Average at best. Even if I balance my gun use, I'm still a 1.5 - 1.6 kd player with a very average score per minute in every game mode.
So....I started asking myself. Do I really like this "challenge", which usually ends up having me bottom the scoreboard, tank my already pitiful stats, up my frustration and anger, and fail to contribute to my team in some of those rare tight games that we have?
For what? To impress some stranger in Iowa who cares to check the stats on Kaz--Money? Nothing impressive to see there....even if I had every gun levelled out to 7000 kills a piece. Even if I did, to what end? What's the point in the "challenge" if I can't over come it?
I've been challenging myself to use anything other than the Famas, and either AK and I'm still the same player I've always been, with the same ass-fck 0-280kbps connection. If I use an inferior gun, even against an inferior team, I still perform in an equally inferior manner because none of the weapons I choose can bridge the 1 or more second gap that exists between me and 98% of the opponents I see, and none of them can overcome the power / rate of fire / accuracy of the Famas or 74u.
So....I guess the point of this post was to say that I think it's pointless for me to think that I'm doing anybody any good by handicapping myself, and it's beyond pointless to be doing any of this for some random who happens upon my combat record. I'd far rather go 18-3 with a gun that is on par with my opponents weapons than what has become my norm of 8-15 with some POS that is outclassed in every respect by thier famas or 74u.
I have to stop giving a fck what my gun stats / combat record "says" about me...and what gun stats / combat records "say" about others. If I want to win or succeed in this game, I have to at least put the weapon in my hand on par with the weapon of my opponent, because we know that even with that all being equal, connections will come up bite you in the ass and negate any balance issues anyway.
I'm tiring of knowingly entering a lobby of Famas/Aug/Galil/74u players, with some garbage afterthought of a gun in my hand, hoping to simply break even with it, and hoping to make a combat record be an interesting read for some random in tornado alley.
Fck all of it.