Well, this morning, I have a new installment of "I just shouldn't speak before 10 AM"
The scene takes place in my bedroom, about 7:15 AM EST
Wife is tearing through closet, I can tell my the diameter of her eyes and the flaring nostrils, that the dreaded "morning clothing crisis" is upon me. I approach with caution:
Me: "You seem unusually irrational this morning (laughs)?"
Wife: "I can't find anything to wear"
Me: "but you just had an outfit on, it looked good"
Wife: "it doesn't match the one scarf that's clean"
Me: "who cares about a scarf?"
Wife: "I do"
Me: "well, I do seem to remember a time where you didn't constantly have some ridiculously oversized scarf draped around you at every damn moment, why not picture yourself in 2010 and do without it, why is it like a uniform at this point?"
Wife: snaps her head in my direction and simply says "really?"
Me: pics up cellphone off table, looks at wife "hey, a grip is on the phone, you need to go get it"
Me: "seriously, you have 5 minutes before I leave without you"
F**k that...closet full of clothes and it's rendered useless because of a freaking scarf. Yeah. I'm chisa and I don't give a sh*t.