Since we all seem to do it, and we all seem to be on the receiving end of the barrages, here are some parameters. They are, of course, optional.
1. Never resort to "to mama" references. It's a predictable douche tactic. Ususally comes out in the first 8-20 seconds from others. Don't go there. You become one of them.
2. Never call a high ranker a "no life". It is a very predictable douche tactic. This usually comes out when we have more than 1 player higher than 10th prestige. Since we're usually stacked with these so-called "no lifers", it just doesn't work.
3. Never accuse someone of living in their Grandma's basement. It's a tired old stereotype that usually comes out sometime before point #2 (the no life comment) and point #4 (having never seen pvssy).
4. Don't accuse someone of never having seen a vagina /talked to a real girl before. This usually follows the "no life" / grandma's basement diatribe. ETA ~30-45 seconds. Usually doesn't come out before the first game, but almost assuredly follows an embarassing loss.
5. Don't threaten to beat them up in real life. This is a fairly common, albeit random douche tactic. 'Cause everyone is a 7'8 / 275 lbs PS3 Gangsta when online, except us. When this tactic is used, we just get to laugh and call him an impotent PS3 Gangsta.
6. Do keep track of how many games that they have been annhialated in...so when they turn their mic on to talk trash after they got 1 victory in the last 6 games, you can remind them that 1 for 6 isn't brag-worthy. And neither will their next game.
7. If we're beat by corner hiding, bush immitating, window scouting, obscure place sitting d-bags, simply tell them, "OK pvssies, we see how scared you are to more, now we'll beat you at your own game".
1. Call them out for hiding like a scared b1tch. Synonyms for pvssy, courtesy of Orrophin, such as ham wallet,
oyster ditch, gut locker, pudding hatch, squish mitten, yippee bog, b!tch wrinkle, fiddle cove are always a propos.
2. Do call them out for using ghost to help them hide.
3. Do call them out for using Second Chance, and highlight their true stats....2-16 is actually 2-32
4. Do call them out for high KDR's and pathetically low W/L records
5. Do send messasges to big lobby talkers who leave mid game--especially the characters mentioned above.
6. Do send messages to high kdr / pathetically low win loss players who leave mid game, writing only "the 2.88 KDR and .47 W/L has just been explained. Quitter."
7. Laugh at them a lot.
8. Just keep telling them that they aren't even making any sense.
9. Make note of Lilac's often stellar performances. Bring out the misogynistic tendancies in the impotent little gamers we come accross. We know she's better than most of us...and her gender is of little relevence to us. But there are so many people who hate knowing a girl owned them that they might just up and leave in disgrace.
Last edited by Kaz--Money on Wed Feb 23, 2011 11:28 am; edited 2 times in total